Over a decade ago, I did my depth coaching training. My training was INCREDIBLE. We gathered for one weekend per month for a year – Friday-Sunday, from around 9am-midnight each day – to say we went deep and wide doesn’t do it justice.
Anywho, what I’m getting at here is that the training was awesome, and we really learned how to attune, respond, adapt, and shift with clients, in incredibly nuanced and wide-ranging ways.
As a result, as a coach I’m quite fluid and adaptable.
So when I find myself saying similar things to folks, offering the same encouragements over and over, I know that one of these two things (or both) is likely true…
What they’re experiencing is very common & up-for-shifting in the greater collective
We’re touching into intrinsic human needs that have sidelined in our capitalistic, colonized, “modern cultures”
For the last few years, I’ve found myself offering nuanced encouragement to folks around the same 4 things over and over and over again. It never gets old, because clearly WE ARE NOT THERE YET. And by we, I mean me too.
Here they are…
Create spaces for Immersive Listening
Before I get started, lemme say this: I’m a mom of 2 little kids, so I know this is tricky as hell. Extra tricky for the solo parents and 24/7 caregivers – compassion to you folks, seriously.
We need these. Immersive Listening spaces are 2 hour laydowns in the forest, weekend solo retreats, extended retreats with wise council, or even uninterrupted bubble baths. They’re spaces where we can sit with big questions, open to creative flow, and rest. The key is not having pressure to find clarity, produce things, or make decisions. Because they’re spaces for listening… and when we have s-p-a-c-e to listen, usually stuck things start moving again.
Open up your senses just a little bit more
This one’s for you if you’re a little frozen, a bit out-of-touch with your desires, heartbroken, burnt-out, trapped in hurt or anger or fear, or uninspired…
When we feel a little far away from the beauty and sweetness of life, it’s often because – for really understandable reasons – our hearts have withdrawn and our vision has become flat. Instead of the gentle ebb and flow of life moving through us, we’ve ebbed more and more, and we’re all out of flow.
In these times, a gentle invitation to open our senses just a little bit more can be so profoundly valuable. Tasting our food just a little bit more. Feeling the breeze on our cheeks just a little bit more. Gazing into a beloved’s eyes just a little bit more. All of these little bits open us up a lot.
Be a regenerative gardener
Hustling, tried-everything-and-nothing-is-working, stuck in your head, confused which way to go next?
Tend to it (your body, your business, your creations) like a regenerative garden, and become a regenerative gardener. From wikipedia: “…regeneration is the process of renewal, restoration, and tissue growth that makes…ecosystems resilient to natural fluctuations or events that cause disturbance or damage.”
In other words: How could I do this in a way that would allow me to keep doing it?
Take time to contemplate the regenerative way.
Do what you can.
Be gentle with yourself.
Honor that there’s a season for everything.
Recognize so much exists in the mystery.
Cultivate community because it’s the only irreplaceable thing
This is really the first thing and main thing. The thing that without it, nothing else fully works, and with it, everything else is better.
Whatever you are going through or creating that feels BIG (a baby, a business, a book, an identity shift, the end of a significant relationship…), do your darndest to cultivate community with others who are walking a similar path, too.
We are pack animals – we need each other, even when we’ve been tricked by the overculture into thinking that we don’t.
Being part of intimate councils, covens, group text threads, circles – with other folks who are navigating similar waters, who have the desire and capacity to meet you in the depths – is the balm.
In our daily lives – already full with responsibilities, busy minds, and less-than-spacious schedules and structures – it can be challenging to practice these things.
Because our overculture is literally designed to have us obsess over productivity over humanity and creativity.
Little by little, in whatever ways you can, practice.
We will get there.
I believe in us.