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5 unexpected things to look for in a coach

I’m constantly speaking with women who are up to big things, and it often surprises me how many of them feel as if they should somehow be able to figure things out on their own. If you wanted to be a world class baseball player, you’d hire a coach. If you wanted to be a Broadway actor, you’d hire a coach. If you want to have a fantastic relationship or a world-changing business, why not hire a coach? One of the biggest reasons people say they don’t hire coaches is money. Often, though, it’s really about priorities. Are we spending that money on unnecessary new shoes, eating out too often or home improvements on things that don’t actually need fixing?  Are we spending our money on things that truly add value to our lives?

Consider how valuable a thriving business, a fantastic lifestyle, deep self-love and an incredible relationship are to you. Aren’t they worth the investment in yourself?

Before I started hiring coaches, I had a long list of reasons why I wasn’t ready. But the longer I waited, the longer I was stuck in holding patterns. Finally receiving deep support pulled me through those patterns and totally transformed my life.

4 REASONS WHY YOU WANT A COACH:

1. Masters learn from masters.
Succeeding at something you looking to master – whether it’s making sushi, losing weight, learning to read Sanskrit, or having a thriving life and business – requires plenty of learning and practice. We wouldn’t attempt to find our way through the woods with no map and no guide, so why do we attempt to do that in the areas of life that’s so important to us? Why do we expect ourselves to know the things we haven’t yet learned? Get guidance.

2. If you want to be invested in, invest in yourself.
Have you ever considered that, from an energetic perspective, asking people to shell out some dough for your brilliance when you’re not shelling out any dough yourself seems a little…well…off? A coach of mine once said “you can tell what’s really important to a person by looking at their calendar and their checkbook.” Amen. Get aligned.

3. There are things you can’t see.
We all have blind spots – the beliefs and behaviors that we’re unaware of, that are playing a significant role in our lives.  We can also become narrow in our thinking – seeing a few options, but feeling confused or constrained in our understanding.  A great coach will see us for who we are, and also for who we’re becoming, and will hold that bigger vision and expertly guide us there.  They’ll see options that we can’t see, and it’s a total relief to rest in their capable hands.  Get support.

4. Because your life is happening now.
There are some people who are constantly living on the edge of their potential, while others spend most of their energy avoiding the things in their life that aren’t sustainable. The difference is that those living into their potential believe that life is worth living and there’s no better time than the present. I’m convinced that there’s no fuel more potent on the planet than this kind of enthusiasm. It’s time. After all, do you really want to be saying “maybe someday…” all through 2015? Didn’t think so. Get moving.

5 UNEXPECTED THINGS TO LOOK FOR IN A COACH:

1. Their lifestyle.
Your coach will help guide you largely based on their experience and what’s worked for them. So what is working for them? Does she have the kind of lifestyle that you want, or at least admire? Does she walk her talk? Are other areas of life that are important to you, important to her, too (relationship, health, etc)? If you’re hiring a coach to support you with your business, the fact that they have a pile of money may be nice, but are they really loving life? This is what’s truly important. When you resonate with how they live, your trust factor is way up, and trust is a good thing.

2. Their lineage.
This is solid gold. By checking out who your prospective coach trained with, coached with, learns from and follows, you’ll learn much about the lineage you’re signing up for. I’m not saying you have to launch an all-out investigation, but who do they thank? Who do they hang with? Who shapes their views? Do you share their philosophies on life, work and growth? Resonance is so important.

3. They take a holistic view.
Everything affects everything else, so if your coach is talking about your next launch without taking into account your adrenal fatigue, they’re missing something big. When a holistic view isn’t taken – giving consideration to your life as a whole – things will often unravel. Your business may soar, while your health and relationships suffer. Your finances improve, but your body image stays the same. You are a whole human being and you deserve someone who cares about your whole-life-alignment and wants to get to know all of you.

4. They’ve been there.
Wanna make take your business to the next level? Handle your food issues? Live a life of travel and adventure? Hire someone who has walked down that path. They probably scraped their knees and learned a heck of a lot along the way – all valuable insights they can share with you. They’re also more likely to give you that special flavor of love and compassion that comes from being able to relate when things aren’t feeling so hot. You don’t have to hire a coach who’s walked in your shoes – we all have our own path – but if it’s something that’s intensely important to you, you may be wise to select someone who’s been there, done that. Especially if they’ve helped others do the same.

5. They inspire and activate.
It’s all about vibes and resonance. Truth be told, your heart knows best. Things to notice: Do you look forward to her tweets and emails? Does she inspire you and make you want to take action? Does she spark your creativity? Do you get great inspiration from her and great motivation? We’re far less likely to follow someone’s lead when we’re not inspired by them and driven to take action.

One last thing… Adore your coach but don’t stick her on an enormous pedestal. She’s human, fallible and learning just like you. Your relationship will be healthiest when you let yourself be yourself with her, and remember that you, just like her, are Superhuman too.

8 Comments

  1. Oh my goodness, Nisha! I love this!

    You are SOOOO right.

    I’ve had a lot of coaches, and the relationships that were the most successful were those in which I admired the lifestyle of the person who was coaching me. And to be honest? It wasn’t always those making the big bucks. It was with the coaches who were honest, authentic, and heart-felt. Who really put themselves in their clients’ shoes and cared. And who walked their talk. <– SUPER IMPORTANT

    When we first spoke years ago, I knew who I wanted to work with, but I wasn't ready to work with them, because I was still so stuck in my own process.

    I am happy to say that now I have figured a good deal of things out and really love and enjoy my life – much more than I originally thought was possible!

    Thanks for your continuing guidance, support, and inspiration. You are one beautiful, soulful, and powerful woman. <3

  2. I prefer to work with coaches who don’t know me going into the relationship. I know so many amazing and powerful coaches, but there’s something about the objectivity and a totally clean slate that I really appreciate.

  3. I loved this Nisha! I am kinda guilty of doing that to people who have been my coaches -as a newbie I am so in awe and wide-eyed about the confidence and “I got this” attitude that they have that I always feel just a tiny bit awestruck.

    These tips are such great reminders, not just a someone who wants to be a holistic health coach but also as someone looking for guidance. Thanks 🙂 x

  4. Thank you for writing this and ️sharing.

  5. Yes!!! All of these points are crucial when i hire not just a coach, but almost any service provider I’ve worked with, or collaboration I’ve said yes to.

    • Thank you so much for your comment, Elizabeth, and thanks for reading!

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