In these deeply divided times, where we’re expanding our awareness of the ways we’ve contributed to inequity and injustice, where social media enables a lightning-fast game of “telephone”, where assumptions are made based on optics, and where calls to “cancel” someone can take place of relational engagement… the fear of being called-out can be gripping.
The fear of being called-out is natural, and rooted in the very primal human need to feel the safety of belonging.
When that sense of safety-in-belonging feels threatened, it’s natural to find ourselves activated into states of fight-flight-fawn-freeze…
Fight: “Don’t you dare tell me I’m wrong – YOU’RE WRONG. Don’t you dare tell me I’m causing harm – YOU’RE CAUSING HARM. Get the &%!# out of here, before I…”
Flight: “Yikes, this is scary, I’m scared, this is too much, I’m out of here, bye.”
Fawn: “OMG I’m so sorry. You’re so right. I’m so wrong. Tell me what you need… I’ll do anything. You’re amazing. You’re brilliant. I’m so bad. I’m awful and terrible. Please love me.”
If we aim to embody our leadership…
We don’t want to react like a little animal backed into a corner.
We don’t want to accidentally (let alone intentionally) cause harm.
Yet we must face the reality that things will happen.
We will be called-out whether we feel we’re in the wrong or not.
We will trip-up and screw-up.
We will be accused of things we don’t feel responsible for.
We will be projected on.
We will cause harm without meaning to.
We will be asked to reflect and go deeper.
When we don’t face the fear of being called-out, we become fragile instead of resilient…
We hide and keep ourselves small and quiet, because we don’t want to risk causing harm or receiving negative attention.
We become rigid, self-righteous, and defensive, because deep down we can’t handle being wrong.
This week’s podcast is an exploration on how we can face the fear of being called-out.
In this episode, I share:
- How we can build resilience through receptivity (which doesn’t mean being open to abuse)
- The difference between calls for accountability and attacks, and why we ought to discern the difference, even if we don’t like how communication is being delivered
- How I “sort the mail” on communications, as a way to discern how I want to respond
- Why it’s crucial to remember that we have sovereign choice over how we respond
- What we need to consider about right-relationship, after the dust settles
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Resources + links mentioned:
- Sign up for Nisha’s free new workshop, Embody Your Leadership: Expand your freedom to show up with vision & devotion, here: EmbodyYourLeadership.com
- Soul of Leadership opens for enrollment soon. You can get on the waitlist here: SoulofLeadership.com
Join the Podcast Inner Circle here:
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