A few weekends ago, I was in Sonoma, California, with my friends Sarah Jenks and Liz DiAlto, so Sarah and I could have a photoshoot for our upcoming LIVE FREE Retreat and the 3 of us could hang. Girltime.
Sonoma is ridiculously gorgeous. Look at these pictures from one of our afternoons there…
Throughout the weekend, we talked a lot about what we wanted. We painted pictures for one another of what we see on the horizon: upcoming launches, growing teams, deepening relationships and deeper connections with ourselves. We also talked a lot about how things are for us right now: our loves, lifestyles, philosophies and favorite loungewear brands. We covered it all.
Looking back, a common theme throughout the weekend was an inquiry into rules.
What rules are we following, and whose rules are they, anyways?
We lovingly challenged one another to look at the places where we were playing by rules that prevented us from having what we really want in life right now, taking a stand for one another’s dreams becoming a reality and loving the journey now.
On our first day there, Sarah announced that we were going to do our photoshoot at a beautiful winery…where we didn’t have permission to shoot. To top it all off, we had our hair and makeup done, but weren’t in our outfits yet. Where were we going to change, I thought, as we drove up. Nervous, I said “What if we get busted and have to change locations? I’m scared we’ll lose daylight.” “Don’t worry, we’ll make it work”, she said with a confident smile. And she meant it. She decided that instead of following the rules, we’d walk in and be as genuinely warm and kind as ever, and it would all work out fine. Here we are at the bar, right after walking in:
The next day at brunch, Liz looked over the rim of her coffee mug and said, “I live on vacation.” And she meant it. Liz recently moved to the beach and made changes to her business that give her a ton of freedom and flexibility in her schedule. She’s made a decision: to create the conditions in her life right now so that her life feels like one big beach holiday. She created her own rules to play by. I captured the moment:
Women ask me all the time: “Can you make these choices now because you’ve paid your dues?”
While it’s true that all the hustle-hustle-hustle is part of our stories and contributed to bringing us here, it was when we chose to play by our own rules that our lives and businesses blossomed. Suffering is (and was) always optional.
> Sarah chose to ditch her diet before she lost the weight and her own rules helped her drop 30lbs, fall back in love with her man, and be a way happier human being.
> Liz chose to turn her life into a vacation instead of hustling to earn short vacations and within 6 months, her own rules helped her bring in her previous years’ income and be a way happier human being.
> I chose to begin traveling before I had my business “figured out” and my own rules helped me find my perfect business model, more than triple my income and be a way happier human being.
The truth is, we always have choice, and we can always create our own rules to live by.
Right now, scan your life and notice anywhere that you are stuck, frustrated or unhappy…
Ask yourself these 4 questions:
1. What do I want in this area of my life?
2. What rules am I following that are preventing me from having that now?
3. Whose rules are these?
4. What rules do I want to play by, starting now?
In the comments below, share what new rules you’ll be playing by, so you can be empowered to create what you want now.
I love this! Perfect timing for right now!
About to go spend some time in argentina to immerse myself in tango and I’m totally going in the spirit of breaking my own rules.
So excited for you, Lauren.
I loved Argentina!
Keep in touch and let me know
how your trip unfolds, sister.
Congratulations girls. I am so inspired by all of you. Keep living the dream.
Thank you, Stacia!
Thank you for this post, Nisha! This is exactly what I needed to hear today! I’ve been putting off creating a business and the life that I want for the greater part of 7 years. I’ve been scared of failure, judgement, and rebelling against what I’ve been taught is the way I “should” be doing things. I’ve recently committed wholeheartedly to designing my own life and living by my rules. I’m resigning from my job at the end of the summer to launch my jewelry line and pursue my creative passions. It is an equally terrifying and thrilling place to be, and getting some reassurance from your blog couldn’t have come at a better time! Thank you!
This is so great to hear!
Congrats on the big move with your
career. We only get to live this
life once – it’s so important that
we make the most of it.
I believe in you!
My new rule (thanks to my fabulous coach for helping me with this breakthrough) is to live life by the Pleasure Rule.
Pleasure in food, pleasure in exercise, pleasure in long luxurious afternoon naps, pleasure in spontaneous days off to go on a wild adventure with friends, pleasure in investing money…
The Pleasure Rule. I love it!
Thanks again for commenting, Caroline.
I love having you in the community.
You’ve inspired me to go on a wild adventure…
Love this, Nisha! – I think I may have done this backwards though….I jumped on our sailboat and headed to the Caribbean and am now trying to figure out how to make the business work/grow from down here… Or maybe it wasn’t backwards, just rule breaking? HA!
Claudia, haha 🙂
Life is for living!
Enjoyed this very much! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you, Kassy!
Three bad ass entrepreneurs! Keep it up ladies, I love watching you! xo
Thanks so much, Devani!
I trying to think which rules I’m following that seem to be keeping me from being where I really want to –although where I want to be is much closer than it was this same time last year–maybe I just need to take stock of what really has changed and take pleasure in that!! Thanks for this post–a reminder to be grateful for where I am today.
Beautiful, Gayle! Enjoy your progress.
Great advice! For me and many people that I work with, what underlines the “rules” is fear. We fear what would happen if we break the rules, which then causes us to live by fear. I guess my additional questions would be, what if we let go of fear? What would happen if I trusted my intuition?
This post was perfect, and fitting! I read this when you first posted it, and it has stuck with me. Everyday since I have asked “who’s rules am I following”. Usually it is some made up rules that I think others have, and that I should be following them, because I don’t want to offend, or make anyone uncomfortable! It is something I have been aware of most of my life, but this post put it so perfectly, that it has really brought my awareness to the surface, and I am now inspired to live by my own rules! Thanks so much!