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The world will be set free by women who are free. Sisterhood is the key.

Women vs. Girls? No thank you.

Have you ever seen one of those Women vs. Girls memes?

Girls compete with each other; women empower one another.”
“Girls are insecure; women are confident.”
“Girls want attention; women want respect.”
Girls make excuses; women prefer honesty.”

I’ve also seen plenty of “Women vs. Girls” articles:

“10 Ways to Know You’re Dating a Girl, Not a Woman”
etc, etc

I understand that by sharing these things, we’re attempting to speak to the shifts that occur as we mature into ourselves, our sovereignty, and our power as women.

But at what cost?

Comparing women to girls in a way that diminishes either breeds shame. It’s yet another way that patriarchy wins. {tweet it}


Expecting ourselves to be “perfect”, faultless, and radiantly (yet humbly) self-assured, is a form of internalized patriarchy…

It demands that we calm down and shape up, in order to be lovable.
It demands that we put on a confident and brave face, in order to be lovable.
It demands that we transcend all of our human foibles, in order to be lovable.

Perpetuating these narratives that there’s something inherently broken, shameful, or unenlightened about us only serves to keep us divided from each other and ourselves.

This doesn’t mean that we have no work to do. We are all growing and learning each day, and it can be healthy to put some attention on our growth and embodiment.

But there’s a difference between focusing on our next level of growth because we’re committed to our freedom, and doing it because we believe we’re otherwise unworthy of love.

Speaking contemptuously about our girls diminishes their sense of self worth.  

Speaking highly of our girls helps them recognize their worth. {tweet it}

There are girls who are secure and confident, generous and kind, and expect to be treated with respect.

There are women who are insecure, stuck in fear and scarcity, and craving external validation.

Both of these ways of being deserve acknowledgment and compassion.

If we want to embolden girls and women to feel confident, alive, generous, and safe, let’s speak highly of them, and stop perpetuating perfectionistic, patriarchal narratives that seek to shame.

We’re in this together.
We can do better.
Let’s rise.


If you’re considering joining us in Tulum, Mexico, for the Artistry of Freedom Retreat, let’s talk.

I’m opening my calendar to speak 1-on-1: Schedule a time here, and I will extend the discount until after we speak.

We have excellent payment plans, and an incredible group of women gathering.  I was just in Tulum last month, and I can hardly express how excited I am to be heading back with those of you who are joining us 🙂


  1. I agree wholeheartedly, Nisha. I first noticed this regarding the Hillary Clinton memes that said, “Run like a Girl,” when some women were so up in arms over it. The expression has always been “Run like a girl,” meant as an insult. The memes took that expression back, made it empowering. Yet, people lost their minds that it wasn’t “Run like a Woman,” despite the fact that that didn’t make sense given the original expression.

  2. What a great post Nisha!

    And it really speaks to me as I discovered something new yesterday evening with my two daughters. (6y and 9y) “Mini-sistercircle” They are out of school for the summer (10 weeks) and there is conflicts every day as their friends are out of town and we are leaving for vacation in a few days. There is packing, planning and a lot of “swedish fika” and fights about just about anything (why you tap a cardboard box and make the nose sounds so LOUD) what movie to watch in the evening (basicallt the only thing they aggreed on yesterday was to watch Harry Potter).
    However I got into “sistermode” before thay prepared themselves for bed yesterday and I just gathered them real quick in a holding hand circle and gave them 3 things that I loved about the day and complemented them about the way they aggreed and discussed their choise of movie. And then they prepared for bed. As I tucked the little one in she said “My favorite time of day was when we held hands, that was cozy” And the big one didn’t say anything (usually she wants me to sit next to her until she falls a sleap but she didn’t ask so she fell asleep by herself.)

    So mini-sistercircle in the evening is what I will practice with them this summer. It was awesome and even though there are a lot of crazyness today in the house I know that we’ll get that moment together tonight.


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