I pay attention to patterns, especially when they show up in conversations, and in the past week, my conversations have centered predominantly around purpose.
In most of these conversations, the angst is dripping off the walls.
“I don’t even know if I’m cut out for this.”
“What am I even doing? Is this the right thing?”
“I’m outgrowing my niche. Help!”
Here’s the good news: Your purpose isn’t what you do, so you can stop worrying about finding the right thing to do.
A few days ago, I sat down for some sushi and wine with my friend Kristen Domingue to jam on life, love and purpose. Here’s what Kristen has to say about purpose: “Your purpose is universal. It can be ‘done’ anywhere at any time with anyone. It’s what you were built to do and have always done. You’re already “doing” your purpose. It’s that basic.”
A story about my purpose…
FREEDOM IS MY JAM.
My purpose is to expand freedom on the planet.
When I was little, I cared a lot about freedom.
:: I cried about Nelson Mandela’s imprisonment.
:: I urged my mom to try geoduck: “It might be an acquired taste”.
:: I wanted everyone to just forgive each other already.
Throughout my life, I have struggled with my own freedom.
:: I have felt ashamed for “feeling too much”.
:: I have battled emotional eating and food addiction.
:: I have used work and shopping to escape my sadness.
Our lives are a perfect symphony of experiences that align with our purpose. We are pushed and twisted in every way needed to force us to do the inner work, and expand our purpose out into the world.
We are living poetry. <tweet>
4 presuppositions of purpose:
1. Your purpose is what you are already, always doing, without even trying. It’s your natural gift to the planet. It’s in your DNA.
2. Your purpose is something you’ve likely struggled with in your life, pushing you to deepen and expand it for yourself, so you can share it more and more with others.
3. Because purpose is inherent, you can choose what you want to do in each moment based on what you desire.
4. Denying you have a purpose is like rejecting an aspect of who you are. If you reject your body, you will feel less at home in her. If you reject your purpose, you will be competitive and jealous.
Is any of this true?
Does it even matter?
I have no idea.
For many of my clients, though, feeling aligned with purpose allows them to feel a connection with something bigger than just what they do.
It also provides an empowering framework for being multi-passionate, which allows us the flexibility to do many things…all in service of purpose.
How do I find my purpose?
1. Stop going outside of yourself to find your purpose. It’s who you are. Ask yourself: When I am with people, what’s my attention on for them? That question led 4 of my clients to these discoveries about their inherent purpose:
I help people find their truth.
I help people access inner wisdom.
I help people feel their worth.
I help people trust their inner knowing.
2. Stop tying your worth to what you do. You were born at the perfectly perfect time, in the perfectly perfect body, into the perfectly perfect family to live out your purpose in the perfectly unique ways that only you can do.
There is no competition for being you.
You are worthy because you exist.
3. Stop trying to do the right thing. Instead, do what lights you up. Start now. I could expand freedom in the world by baking cupcakes, styling hair, picking up trash or coaching. It’s all about intention.
Grad school, jewelry design or architecture?
Choose something and commit to it.
Have fun with it.
What if I still don’t know my purpose?
Then it doesn’t matter right now.
Instead, get in aligned action (action that feels good and integrity-filled).
Life is too short for waiting.