You know those videos online where people are posing with “tamed” tigers, and you’re just watching it like “Oh dear God, am I about to watch this person get their head bitten off?”
They’re banking on a LEGITIMATELY UNSAFE thing being safe, because they really really want it to be true that it’s safe.
So they decide to trust the tiger trainers, the fact that the people in line ahead of them still have their limbs, and their insatiable desire for a good pic for Instagram, to just do the thing that would most terrify their mother.
In case anyone needs a mom to tell it to you straight:
Snuggling with tigers is not a safe thing.
And:
Neither is receiving, entirely.
Receiving is terrifying for most of us…
It’s vulnerable beyond words to be that ~o p e n~
It’s intense to face the fear + pain of not being met
It’s hard to embrace all of ourselves
It’s scary to feel out of control
Because we’ve been hurt.
We reached to our grown-ups for comfort, and they were too busy (or harsh) to give it.
We’ve asked others to do their part, and they’ve not shown-up.
We’ve looked into the eyes of a lover, and they’ve squirmed away.
We’ve been open, and been harmed.
So a clever part of us says “NEVER AGAIN” and we shut down some of our open channels.
Because of this, we understandably resist the hell out of support in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.
Our resistance is really obvious when we’re declining help from someone who loves us, offering to throw in a load of laundry, or take a task off our list, or offer reflections around our blindspots (ask me how I know).
But our resistance can also be hella sneaky, and often shows up in the ways we manufacture structures for receiving + manage exactly how and when we will receive.
This isn’t inherently bad or wrong.
It can actually be really, really good and wise.
When we’ve been harmed, our nervous systems need to titrate how and where and what and how much we receive.
And it’s a sign of wisdom that we’re learning to discern what we want and need.
…and sometimes we are standing at the edge of an initiation into something new…
An experience of receiving that allows for us to feel embraced within the web of life…
Intimate with the voice of our Knowing.
In deep communion with the Divine.
Deeply held by our Beloved(s).
Wrapped in the arms of Nature + Community.
To receive in this way is to move from only
manufacturing + managing structures,
to also opening to being held within the
underlying structure that exists beneath us
– the invisible web of Ancestors, spirit helpers, community, beloveds.
When we allow for both to exist, magic unfolds,
and receiving beyond what we ever dreamed of is possible.
Receiving is not entirely “safe”.
We might get hurt.
We might be let down.
We might face disappointment.
We might experience 10,000 ego deaths.
We might get nothing that we want.
But unlike snuggling with tigers, the un-safety of deep receiving is less about our physical safety and more about protection from emotional discomfort. Because…
We might receive everything we need.
We might create beyond our wildest imaginings.
We might experience deep healing.
We might be met in our depths.
We might get free.
Like the Spider who weaves the web, and also rests into the web, maybe your medicine, too, is to both weave and receive.
So yes, ask for and create what you want, how you want it.
And gently open to receiving unexpected magic from the web of life.
Both matter.
So do you.
With my deepest devotion,
Boy, do I have a story for you! This week, I’m delighted to share the brilliance of another beloved member of my Devotional Leadership Council, Dr. Katia Sol. I first found Katia through a google search many years ago, and finding her spiraled me into a mini existential crisis that sounded something like this: Why would anyone want to learn leadership from me, when this woman exists! She works with universities, facilitates cross-cultural exchange, and has a freaking PhD!
So when Katia reached out about my Council, and I realized who she was, it took me a minute to find the earth beneath me. What a lesson: that each of our leadership is unique, valuable, and integral to the whole.
Katia is incredible. She guides people to source their outer leadership and flourishing from their own deep inner knowing and sacred connection with themselves, the earth, and a community of belonging and mutual encouragement. She leads her own coaching, retreat, and guide training business. Plus, she teaches courses in Leadership & Wellness Education at Stanford, and acts as the Assistant Director for the Dalai Lama Fellows – a social innovation and contemplative leadership fellowship for young global entrepreneurs. She was a Co-Director of the Ecology of Leadership for over a decade and has worked in the areas of leadership and community development all over the world for the last 25 years. Katia is also a proud mama of three boys, ages 4, 14 and 17!
This spring, you can join Katia for the next cycle of her upcoming group coaching program Flourish and for her Women’s Summer Solstice Retreat in California. Katia is also offering a private, application-only coaching + facilitation guide mentorship + training, called SOURCE, from April – January. For more information on any of her offerings, or on 1-on-1 coaching and private deep-dive immersions, please reach out to her at [email protected]