I’ve been fascinated by the vast world of personal growth for as long as I can remember. It started at around age 12 with Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life and has continued for the last 20-something years, with the exception of a 5 year break in my late teens through early twenties, when I had more “important” things to do — drugs, shopping and partying.
In the last several years, I have come to realize that my immersion into the worlds of self-help and drug use came from the same fundamental belief. This is an all-too-common but rarely talked about experience in the personal growth world… I believed that there was something desperately wrong with me, and I wanted to fix or escape it before anyone else saw it, too.
I was broken and needed a cure. Self-help, affirmations, ecstasy and cocaine were my drugs of choice.
Throughout all those years of deep self-analysis and self-criticism, I obsessively assessed where all of my brokenness came from, lamenting all the ways my childhood had messed me up. I had a mental checklist of all of my least favorite qualities of myself, a tally of who I “inherited” them from, and what life experiences created them. As a woman, I was especially fixated on the physical and personality traits of my female family members. I tried to figure out how to avoid the ones I didn’t want to inherit — wrinkles, cellulite, loneliness or insecurities — while sinking in thoughts that I could also never be as good as them — gorgeous curves, warmth, kindness and generosity.
I was lost in deep uncertainty about where I belonged, and confused as to how to be “perfect”. And I had to be perfect…
I wanted to be like the women I saw who seemed so naturally confident, courageous and self-assured. I craved that energy of effortlessness. I’m embarrassed to admit that I actually believed at one point that if only I had been born into a family of women who never doubted themselves, I would have had a chance…
Yes, I now know that there’s no such family. Every family has wrinkles, cellulite, loneliness and insecurity. I also now know that embracing those things as a beautiful part of life is key to appreciating life itself, and beginning to shift the cultural expectation for women to be eternally happy, ageless Barbie dolls.
At the time, I couldn’t see that, and struggled to have a perfect looking life — nice clothes, pretty smile, good job, cute boyfriend — while feeling secretly inadequate inside. Ironically, in my fear of being insecure, I was deeply insecure. In my fear of being someone I didn’t want to be, I didn’t like who I was.
In a personal growth seminar one day, the leader called me to the front of the room to spill my guts, then declared that what was really missing in my life was self-love. His diagnosis felt embarrassing and uninspiring. I didn’t hate myself, I told him. Besides, the idea of focusing on self-love seemed shallow and insincere. There were actual problems in the world — couldn’t he just make me more confident so I could get on with the business of helping others? I didn’t have time for some big, cheesy self-love journey.
But he gave me no other options, so I agreed to make a gentle effort at exploring.
Here’s what I’ve discovered:
It’s terribly easy to get trapped in a judgment loop where you criticize yourself for being how you are, then criticize them for “making” you this way, then criticize others who are “better” or “worse” than you are, then criticize yourself again for being critical. It’s a nasty cycle, and there’s only way out…
The key to creating the confidence, courage, ease and joy that so many of us crave is celebrating other women.
The celebration loop looks like this: when we celebrate where we came from, we are more able to celebrate who and where we are in life, which opens us up to celebrate others, which provides the space to be of greater service in the world. It’s a beautiful cycle that creates unity among women and I believe that it’s the medicine the world needs most.
If you want to make a bigger impact in the world…
If you want to feel more grounded and secure within yourself…
It begins with celebrating the women who came before you.
Take some time today to write a list of the traits that you “inherited” from the women in your family, then choose a few to share with them, in appreciation. Leave out any criticism, complaining or commiserating.
Just celebrate.
Join the conversation in the comments below, to share who you’re celebrating and why you’re celebrating her, and how you’ll share your gratitude with her.
I CELEBRATE:
I celebrate my mom for giving me her special way of being direct and the ability to say what’s so. She was telling me stories about how her coworkers call her “Mama Marcy” and the different things that happen at her work and I recognized that she planted the seeds that allow me to speak my truth without anger or embarrassment!
Beautiful, Sherelle. What a gorgeous quality to inherit!
Beautiful piece, girl. Wow.
One of my biggest revelations recently was no longer trying to “make peace” with my mom, our past, and what’s always felt like a surface, guarded, inauthentic relationship (her and I both).
On the advice of a friend, rather than trying to love her for what she “does” I began cultivating deep, authentic feelings of love for her for *who she is* — the goddess who gave me life. She brought me into this world. She is the reason I exist. If it weren’t for her I would not have the privilege of life. That alone makes her pretty freakin’ important because it feels good to be alive today! 🙂
Since shifting my perspective the mojo around our conversations have begun to flow more freely and feel more “real”. I’ve even learned stories about my mom that in 42 years I had never even known she’d experienced. Those moments have been profound and allowed me not only to feel compassion and reverence for her strength and the rad woman that she is, but to admire those qualities within myself.
Thank you for sharing your stories, Nisha. They are rekindling my own courage to begin to do the same. You are so appreciated, girl.
Love and hugs!
I love this Sylvia – My relationship with my mom sounds very similar to your experience. I have been trying to do this as well, but baby steps 🙂 I loved reading how it has served you.
Yes, doll. Baby steps, indeed. 😉
After pressing the “submit” button I felt that moment of “Oh, f*ck! Did I just admit that in cyber space?” Still learning what the experience of ‘being vulnerable’ means and feels like. So, thank you for sharing your heart Maria. It appears we are all simply doing life together, huh? 😉
Sylvia, thank you so much for sharing this, sister.
Your deepening into understanding your mother through
her stories is so inspiring, and such a valuable lesson
for us all. They have lived through things we know
nothing about that have shaped how they move through
the world. When we can have compassion for them in
this way, the reverence springs forth even more, and
we begin to embrace the beauty inside of ourselves
as well.
When we reject a part of them, we’re rejecting a part
of ourselves, which doesn’t do anything to serve the
world…
Thank you, Thank you for this.
Much Love,
Nisha
You’re amazing, Nisha. I sincerely mean it when I share that your stories and posts are stoking the fires of my own courage, girl. I appreciate the love and authenticity you put out into this world.
I put myself on your list for your 2014 Master Mind. I couldn’t imagine a more necessary experience — for a crew of super rad, intensional women joining forces to ignite their heart’s passion, and amplifying that awesomeness through the power of community. Our world is ready. Thank you for leading the way, darlin’. Sign me up! 😉
Oh, I can’t wait! Thank you so much for this.
Looking forward to playing with you 🙂
Much Love,
Nisha
That was a very heartfelt, honest post! I love your honesty and willingness to reveal yourself. I have struggled to have an authentic relationship with my mother, spending so much time wondering how and why she could dismiss me, her own daughter, so easily. I am working on trying to accept her for who she is and not what I wish she could be. Thanks for your words and making me think more deeply about this.
You’re so welcome, Heather, and
thank you for sharing with us 🙂
I love what Sylvia reminds us of
here…that they too have been
through so much that we can only
imagine, shaping the choices they
make each day and coloring their
way of seeing the world.
I trust that, like all parents,
your mother loves you deeply.
This weekend, for Mother’s Day,
perhaps you can see if you can
relax even deeper into that love,
trusting her adoration of you and
therefore filling your cup with
self-love, too…
Big Hugs,
Nisha
Beautiful post, Nisha. Thanks for the reminder that, in addition to the “less-than-optimal” traits we inherited, we got some really good stuff too. 🙂
Indeed, Lara!
One day my kids will be thinking
of all the things they wish they
didn’t get from me…and hopefully
the things they appreciate, too 🙂
Big Hugs,
Nisha
Wow – powerful stuff Nisha. Thank you. I have been on the personal growth discovery train for about 17 years and I am just starting to delve into my relationship with my mother and it is painful and I am not enjoying being in her presence much these days and I am very aware that this is a transitional phase of our evolution as mother and daughter. So this exercise comes at the perfect moment – THANK YOU. xo
My deepest pleasure, Maria,
and thank you for sharing 🙂
I’m excited for you and your
mom…healing relationships
is the best work we can do.
Enjoy, sister.
Much Love,
Nisha
Wow, Isn’t it fascinating that we all have “mom” stories? They are such a beautiful and powerful force in each of our lives. I, like you Nisha, have always been a personal development junkie. Though, I never did drugs, I felt like a “junkie” of another kind. I was a “blaming” junkie. I was addicted to blaming my mother for all the wrong in my life. I made her wrong for so many years for divorcing my father and leaving us behind with him. I blamed her for all my wrong-doings because I felt if she had be there to guide my life, things would have turned out differently. If only she or dad had been different parents, I would have fulfilled my potential. If only she cared and didn’t abandon us, I would have a better life. I resented her more when I had children of my own. It was harder for me to understand why a mother would leave her children.
I became a tough little soldier trying to pretend that I could handle any pain, any hardship and anything that was hard, after all, what’s worse than having been abandoned? I convinced myself that I didn’t need to have a relationship with my mother. As a matter of fact, I casted out all that were “toxic” in my life.
I delved into more and more personal development, though that never seemed to help our relationship. It took a cancer diagnosis and my 40th birthday to get off the “blaming” high and take a serious look within. I wasn’t being authentic and I wasn’t loving me or her or anybody I felt had “hurt me” for that matter.
How can I proclaim to be the personal development queen and open my heart to perfect strangers but not my mother? After taking a hard look at myself, I started by changing my language. How I described and remembered my past, what words I used to describe my parents, my upbringing, my siblings, etc.
What possibilities could I actually create in my life if I stopped believing the stories I made up about who she was? After all, her story about why she left was entirely different that mine. What would happen if I took responsibility for my own immature actions and just leave it at that? What would happen if instead of resenting my upbringing, I embraced the love and courage my parents had in bringing up so many kids on such a small budget? What would it take to cherish the fact that we had a roof over our head, clothing and food, loving parents who only knew to do, what they knew to do, at the time?
I began by inventing new possibilities with my mother. I began to see the facts for what they were and letting go of the stories behind them. I began by creating white space in my life that was soon to be filled with love for myself, my mother, and others.
Today, I can say that I love her so much and I truly learned from her what infinite love and sacrifice truly means. Sometimes the love for your children is so enormous that leaving means giving your children a better opportunity in life. That’s the type of love and sacrifice that she made for us and though she may forever question her decisions, her desire for us only came from a place of deep sacrificial love. Her desire for us also came to fruition. Today she has the most amazing kids anyone could have. I know because I am one of them!
Wow! I think I’ll share this on my blog!
Nancy – what a lovely discovery for you. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done was agree to joint custody of my daughter when she was only 3. I wanted the best for her and an opportunity to grow up in the very different cultures of her parents. However, I felt every day that I had let her down. When she was in her teens, she came to live with me full time. I am so thankful for her resilience and forgiveness for what must have seemed like a terrible betrayal. My own mom had a very tough upbringing and her mother was what held it all together for her. I always felt that I was not measuring up to that standard, but am thankful that forgiveness is an inherited trait through the generations of women in my family and have learned to forgive myself. I wish you all a happy mothers day.
I never felt let down by you, Momma 🙂
Love you always, always,
Ni
Thank you Linda. I am sure your daughter thinks the world of you! Happy Mother’s Day!
This is so beautiful and profound, Nancy! It is incredible what we learn from the hardest experiences. Looking back, it is of course easy to realize why it had to come that way. But I bow down to your courage to look within although the whole world would probably completely undestand and justify your pain and your decision not to condemn your mom. Honestly, you are such a beautifu soul and I hope many people will be led by your example!
All my love to you!
I’m with Alla! Empowerment rules.
Dearest Nancy,
I would love to read your story on your blog.
This is one the world should hear, sister.
I completely resonate with the judgment we
can create as a nasty side-effect of self-help
gone wrong. It’s like being a religious person
and hating people — what is it all for?
I welled up with tears at your comment about
opening up your heart with perfect strangers
but not your own family. I see so much of
this in the self-help world! Those strangers
often become family, which is beautiful, but
it makes all the difference to bring that open
heart to our family of origin, too.
Rewriting our horror stories into love stories
can be so challenging, but is perhaps the best
work we can do. Thank you for sharing your
love story with us, Nancy. What a gift.
Much Love,
Nisha
Nisha,
Thank you so much for your post. I’ve had a lot of growing up to do since turning 40 and it feels good! I was getting tired of the same old broken record playing in my head. When you’ve read all the books, done all the seminars etc., there’s less and less inventory of stories and excuses you could use. What’s worse is that people start looking to you for advice and leadership and you end up being a big fat fraud. Yep, that’s me I’m talking about! Everyone deserves forgiveness. God does that for us all the time. For me, it wasn’t about learning more self-help or learning to forgive necessarily. It was about DECIDING, that’s it. Once I decided to stop blaming, I knew I could I could embrace my capacity to bring forth an entirely new possibility for living my life, mom included. Not because it is the right thing to do but because it was always within my ability and capacity to do so. It’s what we humans were empowered to do since birth. When I decided, my whole relationship with my mother changed. Thanks again for your inspiration. I hope some day I can afford you because I would love to work with you! Hop on over to my blog. I did share my story (with my 10 followers! ha-ha:) Hugs, Nancy
Yes, Nancy. Yes. I’ll read it on your blog now!
I really loved this. The exercise alone was insightful. Thank you for sharing.
From my cousins Bri & All – openness and honesty. Willingness to look at the tough spots unflinchingly and share what’s really going on.
From my “Aunt” Sally – love of the city, indie movies, and all things cultural
From Aunty Pat – peace in the outdoors and in activity. Independence.
From my mother – a fierce love of travel and learning, ease in meeting strangers who quickly become friends, and faith that we aren’t alone on this journey.
I have loved “growing up” and getting to know these women all over again as peers, adults. Gonna go share this with them today!
Yay! Love that, Victoria 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing.
Updating my own list now…
Much Love,
Nisha
I like to say that while I got my drive and ambition from my dad, I got the heart and soul of my career from my mom. She’s a giver, a caretaker, and a hero – she literally saves lives every day as an EMT and firefighter. Now, she’s taking our shared experience of my eating disorder as a teenager and using it to educate EMTs on how to treat patients with ED. :]
Shannon,
That is amazing what your mom is doing!
I know that you are one soul-driven woman
and I love knowing that we have your mom
to thank for that.
Love,
Nisha
Hey Nisha,
Loved this post, although a little tough to take in! It’s interesting how deep seeded some of our mom issues are huh? Even though I think my relationship with my mom is “ok”, it’s obviously “ok” mostly because I choose to keep a certain amount of distance between us. I sometimes think that’s just the way mothers and daughters are meant to be, comfortably “ok” in their independent lives. I think a big fear of mine was/is feeling defined by her, not having a voice of my own.
Your post made me think about the possibility that our relationship could be more than “ok” if I wanted it to be, if I was willing to let go of the child who feels very stifled by an overbearing mother. Instead, as adults, we could celebrate each other, build each other up – I could still be me and she could still be her. And then the possibilities would become unlimited.
So this mother’s day I’ll celebrate a trait that I’m proud to have inherited which is my mother’s openness and compassion. It’s served me in such a significant way in my coaching practice, giving me the ability to listen to people with all kinds of stories, free of judgement, and help them to feel worthy exactly the way they are.
Sending love to you, Nisha. Thank you for your being so YOU – it’s allowing me to do the same.
XO
Jody
Dear Jody,
You absolutely have me in tears!
Thank you for this. I feel so grateful
to have made a difference here.
Let us know how your celebration
unfolds, if it feels good to do so.
My mom and I have an awesome
relationship, and I can attest that
it’s so very nourishing to have that.
Love,
Nisha
Wonderful post – Thank you!
…and great to read the comments as well; it’s amazing how often I’ve judged my relationship with my mother…imagining that everyone else has that “perfect mom-daughter bond” and I’m the odd weirdo in constant push-pull with her.
“Why can’t you just support me, like everyone else’s mom does?! I have low self-confidence because of YOU! Why am I never good enough?!!”
Once again you hit the nail on the head, Nisha!
Over the past couple of years as I began to celebrate my mother I was able to re-frame the story I had about her and our relationship. Instead of seeing her as intrusive and judgemental I chose to see her as engaged, caregiving and I felt her being a stand for my best self. I also saw her authentically as a woman who wanted her child to have access to education that she never had. I realized that she simply wanted the best for me because she sees my true potential, especially when I don’t. The re-frame removed the resistance. She became an ally, like, overnight. At the heart of this was realizing that I had inherited these same qualities from her…and if I saw myself as being ambitious, engaged and loyal, how was it I saw the same qualities in her through such a negative lens? Today we have the kind of relationship that we both craved for years.
And also, bigger picture – way beyond family… celebrating other women, in general, as a re-frame to feeling jealous or not good enough, has literally transformed my relationships and my self-confidence. Strength in sisterhood!
Dear Robyn,
Thank you for sharing this inspiring story!
I was nodding when I read, “how was it I saw
the same qualities in her through such a
negative lens?” Brilliant.
I love that you and your mom have an awesome
relationship now. I have a great relationship
with my mom and I know that it makes all the
difference to have that in your life.
With Love,
Nisha
It is great to read all these stories – who knew so many women have “mother” issues. I have, for years, been working on rebuilding my relationship with my mother and making an honest effort to truly understand what forces and events took place in her life that shaped the mother she was to become and then what happens to someone who marries at 16 “because they have too”, to a man 11 years her senior with serious control issues, and what it had to be like to then, by 19 have 3 children , still be married to that man who went from control issues to physically exercising his control. As an adult, I now look back, can remember a lot I wish had never occurred, and yet love both my parents – they were both ill-prepared to be parents and probably shouldn’t have been. But if not for them and their mistakes, neither I, nor my sisters, would walk this earth – and for that matter neither would our children and grandchildren. I’ve learned that despite appearances, there are a lot more dysfunctional people, families, and relationships out there than is obvious on superficial glance. I’m now able to take that mental walk for a mile in my mother’s shoes and admire the strength that eventually overcame the weaknesses that allowed her to live through that experience and other “repeat performances” to be here today to share her stories and feelings with me.
Hi Robin,
Thank you so much for sharing this.
This really resonated with me:
“..>despite appearances, there are a
lot more dysfunctional people, families,
and relationships out there than is
obvious on superficial glance.”
I used to think there was some kind
of “perfect”, and now I know we’re
all perfectly imperfect.
Thank you for sharing…
Love,
Nisha
Brilliant read <3
Thank you, Liz 🙂
This is a good one Nisha. I have had a hard time with certain things about my mother for many years, the main one being marrying her second husband after only knowing him a few months and thereby giving a pedophile free access to her 5 and 9 year old daughters. At the time I was the 5 year old and could not even comprehend what happened, but after many many years and having my own children both of whom have autism, I have been able to look back into the rest of my family and see minor versions of my kids’ symptoms in the rest of us, including my mother’s own naivete and inability to comprehend the horror that had become our lives. My mother was also incredibly wounded from her divorce and desperate to have a successful marriage after feeling like a failure because of her failed first marriage. Today I had an early mother’s day lunch with my mother and my sister and while his name did briefly come up when we reflected on the fact that it has now been 18 years since my sister and I testified against him and sent him to prison for the rest of his life, for the most part we were all able to look at how far we have come since then and how great all of our lives are now. I no longer blame my mother for not protecting us. She was a victim as well, and we have all come through it stronger and better and I love my mother.
Dearest Jen,
Thank you so much for your vulnerable sharing.
It takes courage to reveal our truths openly.
It’s beautiful to hear that your family is
feeling more united & powerful. A true gift.
Happy Mother’s Day.
Much Love,
Nisha
Nisha, thanks so much for sharing this with us. In the past few months, I’ve realized that I have basically been at war with my mom, blaming her and making her wrong for everything, since I was 4 years old. She was married to an abusive husband at the time, and instead of finding compassion for her, I was mad that she didn’t protect us better.
But, since I decided to love my mother this February instead of faking it & covering up the anger with false smiles, an amazing new possibility has opened up: that we can get to know each other, really know each other, for the first time. And here are some of her qualities that have revealed themselves to me:
– she finds joy in mundane tasks and allows laughter to bubble up on a regular basis
– she is a nurturer
– she picks up the phone &makes girlfriends a priority (she still talks to her best friend from college every day)
I hope to hone these traits I’ve inherited and use them as well as she has. In fact, I think I’ll write this to her in a card today. Thanks again, Nisa.
much love,
Ellie
Love this, Ellie! You and your Mama are amazing 🙂
Thank you so much for having the courage to open
to your mom, then to share with us here.
Big Hugs,
Nisha
Hi Nisha,
I loved this post – especially the part about how self- help and affirmations can actually keep us in a place of feeling like there is something wrong with us. I am actively loving who I am right now without trying to fix anything, so this hits home.
I celebrate my Mama for encouraging me to trust my inner voice and intuition. It serves me all the time, and has helped me to learn and grow and love life!
Hi Jasmine,
Thank you so much — that is the part
that I really wanted to highlight…
that sometimes all the self-analysis
keeps us from appreciating who we are
and where we come from.
Great gifts from your Mama!
With Love,
Nisha
Dearest Sisters,
I am actually a woman who didn’t have a ton of mom issues. My mom and I have always beer very close, and I can’t wait to hear how the relationships with each of your moms deepens, as I know the incredible power and value of feeling close with your mama.
I am so grateful to come from such beautiful, graceful, loving and generous women. I am so blessed. My favorite qualities of the women in my family are:
* eyes that smile
* good strong hugs
* nurturing
* funny
* strong in every way
* tenacious
* resilient
* resourceful
* kind
* loving
This post has been challenging for me, because after I published it, I re-read it and realized that it wasn’t saying what I wanted it to say. I had to edit it before your comments rolled in, to reveal more of the truth of my experience. Vulnerable revealing can sometimes be scary, and sometimes we miss the mark. It’s intense.
My main message was that there’s a dark side of self-analysis — that we start analyzing without appreciating enough, and that the way to get out of it is to appreciate where you came from. The truth is, no matter how loved I was (and I really did feel loved to pieces!), I felt insecure. I thought I could never be as wonderful as the women who raised me, and because I worked in the cosmetics industry, I was also was afraid of wrinkles and grey hair (at age 19 — crazy!). It was a crazy muddle I was in…so confused.
I’m glad I’m where I am now. I appreciate the beautiful women (and men) I came from more than I could EVER express. I think I am the most fortunate person in the world to have the family I have, 100%.
Happy Mother’s Day, everyone. Celebrate the women in your life this weekend…
Love,
Nisha
Nisha & to all reading,
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us all and for opening up such a beautiful conversation. Your authenticity surely is appreciated and admired. Ironically enough, I had brunch this morning with two of my incredible best girlfriends (one being a recent first-time mommy herself!), and we were talking about our mothers. Both of them were talking about how distant they are with their moms and it was the first time in a very long time when I remained silent and just felt a sense of gratitude for the relationship I have with mine.
I was what my mother calls her “miracle baby”…aka the kind way of saying, “whoops.” 😉 We had a special bond from the start. She recalls that I was her “saving grace” when she dropped my “half” (I think of them as whole) brother and sister off at their dads every other weekend and that was a special time for her in her life. And I remember that, too. You see, my father was, and still is, an absent part of my life that I blamed my mom for, for many years. There was a period of time in my teens of when it was the worst. My anger of not knowing who my father was, I took out on my mother…yet she always forgave and empathized. I would seek out my friends’ mothers’ advice before my own, or open up to them more than her, and I know this deep down this really hurt her. I reflect on how I was back then, and it saddens me. My mom raised my brother, sister, and I for most of my life on her own; reading & singing to us every night before bed, making sure we always had fruits and vegetables on our plates even though food was hard to come by, and always encouraged us to believe that we aspire to be. She said that there were many nights that she would pray that the electricity wouldn’t get shut down after days of being late on meeting the month’s bill…yet we were “so happy poor,” us kids would not have ever known that there was ever a problem bc she always kept a warm and assuring smile on her face.
Where I am going with all of this, is this: for many years, I too, in a sense “denied” my mom of being worthy from the “mistakes” she made. I was ashamed to admit to others, especially guys I was in a relationship with, that she has been married and divorced 3 times now. I mean what a poor reflection that is on me, right? However, when you just scratch the surface, you subconsciously already want to judge. But when you learn the details of what they have been through, you then learn just how strong one has become. My mother unfortunately had to go through marriages first of alcoholism & abuse, next, infidelity, and third, of deceit and neglect. She certainly hasn’t been dealt the best of cards, but with each hand she has known when to walk away.
I finally have come to full acceptance and terms of quit playing victim and love this wonderful woman who has always protected, unconditionally loved and been my biggest fan from the beginning, and I know until the end. So for that, I celebrate my mother’s courage and perseverance for going through some hell, but holding on with a smile. She has had a lot taken away from her in her life and lives very simply these days. I asked her the other day on how she always seems to keep such a positive attitude after everything she has gone through? Her response: “I have 3 beautiful children and 6 beautiful grandchildren…and I am so loved.”
Happy Mother’s Day everyone. Let us be grateful, proud and humbled of our beginnings.
Thank you again, Nisha.
Love,
Felicia
Dear Felicia,
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful
and touching story. I can so relate to being
“happy poor” with my mom growing up, never
knowing that we had such limited resources
because she always made it feel like we were
going to be just fine. Such a blessing.
Thank you for honoring your mama in this way.
It’s given me space to reflect even more.
Happy Mother’s Day to you and your mama!
With Love,
Nisha
I absolutely loved this post Nisha, thank you! I have so much respect for the women in my life, but I never stopped to really list the exact qualities they possess. I love the table you provided and can’t wait to use it to reflect on ALL the traits I inherited, without judgment as to which are “good” or “bad.”
Have fun on your travels, and big hugs!
Jenny
Thank you so much, Jenny! I love seeing your face here 🙂 xox
Nisha:) What a great site! Can’t believe I’m only now finding you (thanks to Kate Northrup… apparently it was our letters of love to our mama’s that inspired her own this am–wow). I remember thinking of all the ways in which I wanted to be different than the women in my family growing up. Thankfully, I turned out to be more like them than different. Phew! Hugs to you, girl. I’m your newest fan:) xx
Linda! We have so many mutual friends,
including Kate, Danielle and Kavita.
I am SO happy to connect.
Off to read your article now, and I
can so relate to the relief of being
like our female relatives. Phew indeed!
Much Love,
Nisha
What a beautiful post. I often feel the same — lamenting all the traits and qualities I hate that I inherited from my family…..without recognizing the beauty they’ve passed down. And it’s just that — beauty. I’m always told I look just like my mother, and that’s a huge compliment! Gorgeous genes run down her family line. And even more than that — resilience. Maybe a bit of lack of power and complacency too, but the strength that so many of my female ancestors had to survive so many abusive relationships…..I’ve definitely inherited that strength and resilience.
Thank you for this, Nisha!
Thank you so much for sharing this, Ruth.
We have very resilient women in my families,
too, and I am so grateful for that as well.
It’s so easy to forget that we are made of
strong stuff, right?
Much Love,
Nisha
I can’t tell you how thankful I am to have run into your website (today in fact). I have so much in common with you. The drugs, the insecurities, and the search to find what truly makes you happy. I just started my blog to get over certain insecurities and to finally speak my mind.
Alexandra,
Welcome, and thank you so much for sharing, sister!
Lovely to connect with you. I look forward to much more.
Much Love,
Nisha