I have a running joke with my friend Sarah that we share everything except her husband, Jonathan. We have the same Business Manager, the same Personal Assistant, and our messages are rooted in the same core belief: When you create a better life for yourself, whatever you’re out to do in the world (whether it be to lose weight or grow your company) flows with more ease. We’re definitely on the same wavelength. So when Sarah got pregnant and began preparing her business for her maternity leave, I started to wonder if I should slow down, too.
One day, when we sat down for lunch, we laughed as I told her about the moment I had to stop and ask myself, “Why am I on maternity leave? I’m not pregnant!”
We often look at someone else’s life and think “my life should look like hers”, then start trying to mould ourselves into their reality, instead of first investigating what most works with our flow.
At our LIVE FREE Retreat a few months ago, Sarah and I taught the women in attendance how to find their ideal flow. Right now for me, it’s just 2 launches per year, deep intensive work with the 20 women in my Freedom Mastermind and lots of time for rest and play. Fall and Spring are my busier seasons, and the rest of the year is pretty mellow. I travel a ton, which I love, and spend lots of time with girlfriends.
Before I found my flow, I was a firehose. I felt like I was scrambling; constantly working and constantly feeling as if I could never get my head above water. I was a wreck, and it was wrecking my marriage, my financial and emotional stability, my health and my confidence. I had created a business to feel more free, and felt more shackled than ever.
4 STEPS TO FIND YOUR FLOW:
1. Create a vision
How do you know where to take your next step if you don’t know where you’re going? Usually when we’re caught up in mini dramas about why life isn’t working out, it’s because we lack clarity about what we actually want, and we lack dedication to that vision.
Take a minute and look at the different areas of your life – vitality, creativity, connection, money and time – and ask yourself: If things were how I wanted them in this area of my life, how would it feel and what’s my ideal?
2. Explore your optimal rhythm
As women, we are literally guided by tides. Our hormones fluctuate with the lunar cycle, and our bodies ebb and flow with nature. Our physical bodies are not always in creation cycle, so our businesses shouldn’t be either. We need quiet time for rest and reflection. Using your body’s natural rhythm to chart the rhythm of your life and work is what my friend Alisa Vitti, author of WomanCode, calls this Embodied Time Management.
Begin by noticing your ideal flow over the year, months and each day at this time in your life, and trust that there’s nothing bad or wrong with your ideal.
3. Map it out
So many of us get as far as exploring our ideals, but don’t ever make the changes needed to live into them. What good is it to know what you want but do nothing to get it? Especially if you keep saying “I don’t have time”, it’s time to map out what you want and make it happen, sister.
Start by mapping out your year, then your months, weeks, and ideal flow for each day. It won’t be perfect, but it will be a fantastic start and you can adjust as you go along. My former coach, Marie Forleo, used to say “If it’s not scheduled, it’s not real”.
4. Get support
If we could do all the things we want to on our own, we likely would’ve done them by now. Empowered planning is vital, but if you’ve found yourself slip-sliding when it comes to working your plans and honoring your flow, it’s probably time to get some outside help. Every highly effective person I know has a team of supporters to help them stay aligned and accountable.
Consider what you’d want from a support system, and give yourself (and those you help and serve) the gift of this consistent, solid foundation.
–––> In the comments below, share what your ideal flow is, and how you’ll bring yourself into even greater alignment with it.
For me, mapping it out comes very easy. I’m a natural-born planner/organizer. The hardest part is asking for help and getting support. Very important daily lesson for me. Thanks!
Yes to help and support!
We’re creatures of community
and just not designed to do
it all alone 🙂
I feel like I am in the middle this stage of trying to figure out and find my flow, but in the mean time it’s bloody difficult because I need to first get clear on where I want to go to help me feel more purposeful and connect to my reasons. I think that is where I am going to start now. Thanks for the great tips x
Great inquiry to be in, Maddison.
Don’t forget to ask yourself how
you want to feel 🙂
Thanks for this lovely email / post! It reminds me that I have some great free resources from Marie Forleo from a while back that help map out the year and month in action steps. Definitely time to revisit and revise.
Wonderful! Marie has some AWESOME resources. Do it!
Nisha, this was perfect because I’m working right now to develop what 2014 will look like. I emailed this post to my planning partner so we can both consider how to create waves of work, creativity, and play instead of trying to cram it all in all the time.
I don’t know what next year will look like yet, but I’m thinking in waves, now.
Beautiful! Make space for your pace 🙂
Lovely inspiring blog Nisha! What would bring me the greatest support is having a “Sarah” in my life. A close female friend who is as business savvy as I am, that we can share ideas and learn. I know the value this would bring into my life and biz growth.
I absolutely notice my energy dipping around my period each month. My moon itself is such an event. I like taking it slower during this time and having less expectations on myself. Your example of two launches per year and one deep dive group resonates with me to my core. Thanks for providing that example. It’s crazy how much I love it. Such simplicity and structure. Thank you!
Beautiful Nisha! And i agree: finding one’s flow makes all the difference in the world in both our happiness and success.