In Greek lore, the phoenix is cyclically reborn from the fire, arising from the ashes of its predecessor. It can represent a burning away of fears, limiting beliefs and destructive patterns, making way for new life, love and possibility. Freedom.
Each year, I choose 5 ways to die…
5 Freedom Focuses that I believe will most expand my personal freedom, so I can live, love and give in a bigger way. Because each time you move into a new space, you have to get rid of some of your old junk. Expansion requires a letting go. A burning away. A death, of sorts.
Not everything you can carry, can carry you to the next level. {tweet}
Once I’ve selected my 5 Freedom Focuses, I specifically choose experiences that support this expansion while providing a ‘container’ of feeling safe, nurtured and held (even though I very often still feel scared). Scared, yet safe.
This allows me to face big monsters if they show up and take in all of the pleasure that’s offered. It’s a paradox: I have a deep desire for pleasure and play, and a willingness to walk into the fire and burn away all that’s ready to die.
In a safe space, you are free to be more vulnerable. This invites what needs transforming to arise, while pleasure can be derived.
With that in mind, I chose my 5 ways to [die] fly this year:
1. Going pro with business structure, bookkeeping, accounting, and legal
2. A trip to Peru
3. Going “all in” in my relationship (which evolved to the decision to move to San Francisco)
4. Intensive coaching in the area of relationships and self-expression
5. Burning Man
They call me “Phoenix”
Recently, I fulfilled on #5, spending a week in the Nevada desert with 68,000 strangers/friends-to-be. My “playa name”? Phoenix {she who is willing to walk through the flames in order to fly higher}.
For me, Burning Man presented an opportunity for me to be with 150 of my friends in a wonderful nest (lots of sisterhood, a cozy RV with private space, a shower or two, super healthy food, loving people, fantastic earplugs, fun costumes, and plenty of hugs) with plenty of opportunity for pleasure (free everything: massages, face painting, bacon, dance parties, ice cream, art exhibits, craft stations, tea parties), for the possibility of being confronted and cracked open (pervasive dust, noise all day and night, oppressive heat, freezing cold, party people, hours of driving and sitting in stand-still traffic, loneliness, getting lost and having no map, wanting things I have no way of getting other than *wishing*, wanting to leave with nearly no way out).
Safe space.
Room to play.
Beautifully confronting.
Burning away.
I was willing to walk into the fire and potentially burn, with the intention of being freed to fly higher. And not just for me! I wanted to bring that dust back, embedded with love and wisdom, so that I can live, love and give in a bigger way.
Indeed…
The world will be set free
by women who are free.
Today, I invite you to take a look into your life and ask yourself what the next expansion of your freedom might look like? Consider an experience that might offer you a safe space with room to play, so you may be confronted enough to burn away what no longer serves. Are you willing to walk into the fire?
—> In the comments below, share. We’d love to hear where you’re flying to next.
wow… I got your whole message on a deeper level with this post!
And I never saw the phoenix before.. though it was there the whole time. 🙂 KICK-ASS ways to die/FLY!
Here are mine: (Gulp)
1. Joining the party here and now with my business & brand. No more waiting til it’s perfect. I’m ready to play and let this baby evolve.
2. Going all in with how I want to show up in the world: style & presence online and in person (Goodbye, half of my clothes!)
3. Getting back on the stage – in new and creative ways.
4. Dating. 🙂
5. Asking myself FIRST before saying YES to anything – “Will this further my life? Do I desire this?”
Wow! Awesome article, Nisha!
I’m entering a new phase of my life in a big way: getting married, new business, cross-country move. Reading what you said about how expansion requires some letting go really got me thinking.
Here are my 5 ways to fly this year:
1. Also going “ALL IN” in my relationship. I’m getting married, but even with that external commitment, I don’t always feel like my full heart is open. I’m going to open it up!
2. Getting married in Greece/traveling through Europe for 6 weeks.
3. Playing a big game in my business! No more doubting myself and what I’m capable of.
4. Self-forgiveness on all levels.
5. Courage to stand up to others.
xo,
Alexis
Phoenix: great name for Burning Man!
What not longer serves me? Busyness. Yep.
Letting go of busyness and embracing free time, spontaneity, space in my calendar, space to travel and enjoy my amazing life.
Strangely enough as a result I’m more abundant, laugh a lot more and I feel so much more laid back.
Feels good.
Dearest, love watching your Phoenix and am amazed by your presence. Whenever I’m with you, I’m reminded that burning doesn’t have to be painful; it can result in the glorious frisson of newness.
Working with you and our gorgeous women has definitely been like walking into the fire for me. I couldn’t ask for a more safe or loving container for it. The Inner Circle feels much like this too. And I truly can’t wait.
Burn, baby, burn!
love you,
Sar
What a powerful article Nisha. I’m still reflecting on it. It is so timely as I’m going through a time of fire now. I appreciate the reminder of others who have made it to the other side.
Thanks for giving me hope.
Blessings,
Andrea
I love how so many spiritual traditions are actually connected – or use similar words to say the same thing. This whole blog reminded me of the Christian tenet: It is only in death that we have life. Also, I love that the word “death” is so much more permanent than saying something like “5 things I want to let go of this year”…you can always pick up what you let go of…you cannot (in this life at least) get back what finds its final resting place.
My “5 things” are all related to my one goal of just getting started. They are all “until” statements that I am committed to deleting from my life – I will no longer put off doing the things I really want to do until…
1. When I have more money, I will travel.
2. When I lose weight, I will dress better.
3. When I have more friends, I will have more fun.
4. When I get an activity partner, I will be more active.
5. When I am successful I will share my story with others.
INSTEAD
1. I will find ways to travel on no money.
2. I will dress better so that I feel better and present the right image to my clients, potential clients, friends, daughter, and family.
3. I will have fun every day in at least one major way.
4. I will be active – even if I have to do it alone.
5. I will be proud of the decisions I have made to start my own business/begin a journey of self-exploration and deeper meaning/& to choose to be happy.
Thank you for what you are doing for all of us – and yourself –
xxoo