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WITH THIS GUIDED MEDITATIONYES, PLEASE

In early January of this year, after spending several months healing from the end of my 5 year, on/off relationship, I felt two distinct things…

“If I am single for a really long time – years, even – I’m totally okay with that.  I’m good with me.”
And… “I’m ready to date! But not with any goal in mind.”

At the end of that month, I was packing my bags to head to Utah for a weekend of skiing and adventure with friends, to an event designed for a few hundred innovative, entrepreneurial types. I remember feeling really excited to both enjoy time with myself and my girlfriends, and also see if there was anyone I felt a spark with.

As soon as I arrived, I saw Noah.

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We’d met before, a few times over the years, but had only interacted in passing.  He always seemed very sweet and kind, attentive to those around him, with an English accent that added to his effortless charm.  I remember leaving those brief interactions thinking “He’s so nice”, and that was that.

This time, though, he seemed extra happy to see me.  And as the weekend went on, it seemed that every time I turned around, Noah was there with a big, warm smile on his face.  And the more I saw him, the more I really saw him.  We had a few long conversations.  He really was special…a rare gem. Kind, generous, creative, warm-hearted, sweet and witty, with a gentle yet fiery energy.  I was feeling something…

On the last day of my trip, Noah took me snowshoeing in the deep powder, then somehow convinced me to climb a 30 foot tree, into a giant human-sized nest. I was so scared to climb that tree (the snow! the ice!), but we did it.  Sitting in the tree with no one around, and nothing but the sound of falling snow on the branches, I waited for him to say something, do something, about all these feelings.  I sensed they were brewing in him, too.  But he didn’t.  Instead, we talked more, he took my picture, then we climbed down the tree and hugged goodbye.  The whole experience was a beautiful adventure, and I left feeling satisfied with being friends because “he’s so sweet” aaaand “he’s just not that into me…”

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Over the next few weeks, we stayed in touch over text, and two weeks later I was back in Utah for my friend Josh’s birthday.

On my first night back, Noah sat down next to me, turned his body to face mine, and looked me square in the eyes.  “Nisha, I’m really attracted to you. And it’s not just your physical appearance, it’s your energy – your spirit.  I want to spend more time with you and get to know you.”  I felt like a giddy teenager and an empowered woman all at once.  We spent the next week together in Utah.

Then, he flew to San Francisco for a week. I said “Hey, let’s dress up as sailors and pirates and spend the day adventuring!”  Always down for a weird adventure (and endlessly accommodating to my every Gemini whim), he obliged. We were falling in love, fast…

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Weeks later, he met me in Costa Rica for a week of beach walks and long talks, after my retreat…

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I gathered my dog, Daisy, in San Francisco and returned to Utah for a few weeks, to spend time with Noah and celebrate his birthday…

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That’s when we found out…

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I’m pregnant.

Since then, we’ve felt all the feelings that might come with a quick and unexpected pregnancy, and have taken the winding road, hand-in-hand, towards a state of absolute gratitude, honor and excitement.  So here’s the news: We’re having a baby boy in December!

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This journey has wrung me out and shaped me in unbelievable ways, and it’s been so hard not to share it all.  In many ways, between processing this sudden and surprising news, spending quiet time connecting with the soul of my baby, feeling all of my creative energy flowing inward (not outward), and it not being time to share the news publicly…I’ve felt like I’ve had so much to say, and no way to say it authentically without telling my stories.

So not only is sharing this news with you incredibly exciting on a personal level, it’s also a relief because I can finally share all the lessons I’ve been integrating about life, love, and leadership…things that are relevant to all of us women in leadership, regardless of whether we’re mothers or not.

Stay tuned. I’ve got so much in the queue, and now that my first trimester is over and my mojo’s back, I’ve got a fire in my belly (literally!) and a lot to say 😉

Thank you for allowing me to share my story with you.  This is such a special time in my life and I feel extra-super grateful for your presence here, and for the blessing and privilege of being able to have my life and business set up in such a way that I get to do work I love with people I love, and take the space I want and need for myself and my baby.

—> As always, I welcome your comments below, and would absolutely love to hear what questions or themes you’d like to explore in upcoming posts… 

Love,
Nisha