2 weeks ago, I led a 4 day retreat at a gorgeous spa in the New Mexico desert for the women in my Manifestation Mastermind. We jammed on art, launch strategy and the fear of growth; meaningful money making, relationships and 2013 planning. We put our fears into the fire, declared our intentions and sang together.
It was heart-opening, inspiring and beautiful.
Here’s a photo of our amazing surroundings…
On our final evening together, we had a gorgeous dinner and a conversation with Ariana and Melissa about femininity, focus and freedom.
Someone at the table asked me, “What actions have you taken that have been most successful, Nisha? Ultimately, what has made the biggest difference?”
My answer was easy. I shared:
“There have been a lot of actions that have made a difference, but not one big thing that magically made everything amazing. Even if there were, it would probably be different for you. Different things click for different people and their businesses. For me, it wasn’t as much about the strategy as it was about the focus. The thing that has — hands down — made the biggest difference, is being ‘all in'”.
Eventually, whether you choose it or are forced, you will be “all in”.
If you ignore your health long enough, eventually your body will demand your full attention. If you ignore your money long enough, eventually you will be forced to handle it. If you ignore your relationship long enough, you won’t have it anymore.
Being “all in” — fully committed, focused and determined — is a requirement for your success in every area of your life, and unless you want to be forced, I suggest you make it a choice.
I have not been so smart.
My story of being forced to be “all in”:
Several years ago, I was in a year-long $20K coaching program. The work was rich and super intense. At every turn, I would find myself in a house of mirrors; forced to see where I was giving away my power, not taking accountability, and backing away from what I wanted. It was a year of looking very deeply at my “stuff”, and it was clear that my coach and community were totally invested in my success…probably even more than I was.
One day, I told the group that I was struggling to bring in consistent income in my coaching practice. This had been my story on and off for months, and I was embarrassed to be singing the same sob song once again. My coach looked me right in the eye, took one step towards me and said, “Nisha, this is it. I’m giving you 3 months to hit your income goals or I’m kicking you out of the program.”
What?! How could he be so mean? Didn’t he know I was trying? Wasn’t he even going to tell me how? I felt like evaporating on the spot.
Instead, I looked at him and said, “Okay”. Challenge accepted.
1 month later, I was back with the community and gave my update:
I had tripled my income, was going to launch a new program, and felt freakin’ amazing. I felt sustainable, strong and proud.
So what did I do?
I got serious, and I stopped screwing around.
I decided I was going to win.
I did anything and everything I could think of to make it happen.
I went “all in”.
I learned that when we get fully committed, the next action we need to take reveals itself to us. The fierce commitment, though, comes first.
After I shared this story with the women in New Mexico, Ariana had an idea:
“Let’s take this concept of being ‘all in’ and make it real.”
The group quickly agreed what we’d do (some took a little coaxing), and within 10 minutes there were 15 women hiking up the mountain into the pitch black of night. As soon as we were out of view from the spa grounds, we stripped down…to nothing but boots. We went all in.
When we reached “summit”, each woman took a moment to herself, then stomped her foot in the dirt, symbolically “planting her flag” in the sand; declaring herself ALL IN.
Their results, 2 weeks later?
Losing 5 lbs; new clients; launching new programs and classes; healthy changes in relationships.
The truth is, we all have many choice points on the way to rock bottom. And yet, most of us are full of “someday’s”.
: Spend more time traveling and going on adventures.
: Support the causes and charities I believe in.
: Have the relationship of my dreams.
: Make the difference I want to make.
: Be able to spend more time with friends.
: Feel good about my body and health.
: Have the energy to get it all done.
: Feel more confident in what I’m doing.
: Get the guts to finally _____________.
: Trust myself to make good decisions.
: Have more fun.
The problem with “someday” thinking is that Someday is not a day of the week.
“Someday” is the disease that keeps us stranded somewhere between our reality and what we want. “Someday” will have us race through life faster, only to look back and wonder what happened to our dreams. Listen, it’s never too late to start, so why not start now? What’s better about later than now? There is no power in waiting for your circumstances to change. Change your circumstances.
How to go “all in” (a writing exercise to do now)
1. Scan your life: where you are half-steppin’, hiding out, settling or suffering?
2. Be truthful: tell yourself the truth to yourself, about yourself…
: What do you want?
: What is it costing you, physically, emotionally and financially, to not be fully invested?
3. Decide: will you choose to be all in, or will you be forced?
4. Take action: if you are choosing, what do you have to do today to make it real?
Being “all in” isn’t just a feeling, it’s about action.
5. Get backup: choose a powerful supportive community who…
: Understands that wanting to have an awesome business, an awesome life, and make an awesome difference is, well…awesome.
: “Gets you”, and doesn’t think you’re totally nuts for wanting what you want.
: Will cheerlead you and give you honest, loving, straight-up advice.