“For some reason, I thought I was going to have all this work to do. I can’t believe that it was actually about creating more space”, she said, as she walked out of our first session yesterday.
I hear a version of this sentiment often:
It’s much more simple than I thought.
That’s my laptop. Every day she reminds me what I want – my core desired feelings, as my friend Danielle LaPorte calls them. FEMININE. JOYFUL. PLENTIFUL. UNITED.
Most of the people in my orbit are ambitious.
We’ve taken some risks in our lives: turning left when others were taking a right; challenging the status quo; leaning into genuine optimism because it feels good to want good; embracing uncertainty because that’s what risk-takers have to do. We desire in megawatt-full color-HD, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.
We’re also a little weird.
A lot of us were the nerdy kids at school, or the ones (like me) who were kind of popular, but not totally cool enough to be one of the cool kids. My friends who were the cool kids, still felt pretty uncool inside. We’re all a little bit weird.
There seems to be something about being weirdly ambitious that has us try really hard. And it’s not a terrible strategy. It has us do well in school, learn how to do awesome stuff and strive to get out in the world and make a difference. It’s exhilarating…and exhausting. All of that effort to constantly try harder can leave us spinning our wheels and burning out.
What if you just tried easier?
When we know what our “successful life” feels like, we can start creating that feeling now. When we feel successful, we make better decisions. When we feel successful, we’re more calm and less desperate. When we feel successful, we attract more good.
Begin all of your goals with what you want – your Core Desired Feelings – and start by creating those feelings immediately.
Take actions that align with what you want and stop taking actions that don’t.