Guest post by Sarah Jenks
I’m so excited to be babysitting Nisha’s blog today! You remember when you had a babysitter that showed up to your house with a special bag of toys, tricks and games, Mary Poppins style? And you were so frickin’ pumped? That’s what I’ve got for you.
I spent most of my adult life thinking that my life would be more fun when I lost weight.
I’d be able to shop wherever I wanted, have the confidence to flirt, go out more, play intramural sports, go to museums, sit at cafes without worrying that people were judging me, have sex without panicking about my stomach hanging out, be able to enjoy dinners with my girlfriends without the menu giving me anxiety, and I would finally be able to eat anything I wanted.
All I wanted was to have fun, but I had to wait till I was thin.
So my life was pretty boring. I’d hit snooze 3 times, rush to work, slug through the day, come home, put on sweatpants, eat dinner, watch TV, pick a fight with my boyfriend, go to sleep. Repeat.
BUT I was trying really hard to lose weight, so I thought that eventually all my misery and boredom would lead to a fun, fabulous life.
Not so much. I was so unfulfilled, that food was my only source of happiness, excitement, relaxation, love and comfort. Everyday I would wake up vowing to only consume 1200 calories of vegetables and lean protein, and every night I would go to sleep bloated with 3000 calories of crap in my belly.
Then I hit my breaking point, which came in the form of eating an entire bag of Dove Chocolate Promises on the third day of my seven day juice cleanse while hiding in the supply closet at work, and I realized that if this dieting thing was gonna work, it would’ve worked by now.
So I decided to skip the weight loss part. If I was going to be stuck in this body forever, I might as well get used to it and have some fun. And fun I had.
After just a few weeks, I felt like I thought I was going to when I was a size 2, even though I was a twelve. And over the next year, without counting calories or going to the gym, I lost 30 pounds.
So I want to know, what do you really want? And what do you think you need to do first in order to have that thing?
If you are craving a fun, fulfilling and adventurous life, nothing is going to create that except just getting your butt out there and having fun!
Here’s what I do for fun, to help loosen up your imagination:
I go hiking, I sing at the top of my lungs, I plan beautiful dates, I get dressed everyday, I go on road trips, I go wine tasting, I talk with my girlfriends for hours, I braid my hair, I plan picnics, I go to the beach, I draw a picture, I have movie night, I get massages, I play with puppies, I write, I dance in the kitchen, I dance in dance class, I dance at a club, I go out to the best restaurants, I play dress up, I hang with my family, I pray, I ask embarrassing/meaningful questions, I throw dinner parties….
I know all these things seems frivolous, selfish or a waste of time, but without fun, I’m a mess.
Fun is fuel and it is medicine – without it life just doesn’t work. {tweet it}
It keeps me healthy, happy, abundant, creative, focused and clear. Without it my body, my relationships and my business just wouldn’t work.
In the comments below I want to know: how has fun been your medicine? And how are you going to add more fun into your life?
I can’t wait to hear what you’ve got up your sleeve.
Love,
Sarah
p.s. Next week Nisha and I are opening the doors for our LIVE FREE retreat in Sonoma’s wine country. We’re so pumped! To get on the list and be the first to hear all the details, sign up here: http://livefreeretreat.com/ It’s going to be a blast — hope you can make it!
I love your story, Sarah. Thanks so much for sharing. As for me, I have fun by connecting with awesome women, walking with my dog, writing, and reading. I probably enjoy connecting with women and reading the most. Those two things really make me feel alive, so I should probably do them more, huh? 😉
Akirah,
Thank you so much for sharing!
What are you reading right now?
How can you incorporate more reading
and sisterhood into your life now?
xo
Nisha
Akirah, love those. It’s so important to do what lights us up daily, even if it’s just for 10 minutes. So happy you liked my story:) Big hugs.
I thought that with strict discipline I would reach my goals of being in top shape, super fit, super toned, super slim. But one tiny little cheat would break all the momentum.
Turns out strict worked for my dad, but it doesn’t work for me.
Turns out pleasure is my key to success. (GASP!)
Pleasure is how I will sustain a healthy lifestyle and hence, reach my goals.
Caroline, I love this!
Women are designed to thrive in
a space of pleasure and play.
Glad you’re taking that on.
xo
Nisha
I’m the same way, Caroline! I’ve tried being crazy strict with my diet and sticking to a “by the book” workout routine, and it just does nothing for me. I’ve figured out that I truly NEED variety and flexibility in what I do if I’m going to have any hope at success in the health arena. Also, I never make anything strictly off-limits. I’m definitely a “tell me I can’t do it and I want it more” person.
Ah Caroline, I am so happy you have discovered this for yourself. Believing that pain and pressure will lead to pleasure and freedom is like believing that if you just practice baseball all the time, you’ll wake up a great guitar player someday. One just does not lead to the other.
I dab some make-up on, spritz a little perfume, and go walking in the sunshine. Just being out in the rays streams sunshine through my skin to my veins; potent shit. 😀
I also find myself singing out loud more often than before and blasting tunes all day long. Life is for dancing, making love, and shining bright. Yup.
AND! My morning pages are pretty fun when I do stream-of-consciousness riffs and come up with groovy imagery that knocks my socks off.
Beautiful, Otiti. I can picture it!
I’ve had several friends tell me to
sing aloud lately. I’m listening…
xo
Nisha
Otti, I love this. For me getting dressed is the most fun part of my day. It can be such an art can’t it? I love that you do morning pages, I’ve been meaning to get into that more, you’ve inspired me!
The most creative, productive time I’ve had over the past few weeks has occurred the hours after I’ve let myself sleep in just a bit on Monday mornings and sip some tea outside, in the courtyard, at our apartment. Fun! (Very different than getting up at 4:30 AM and downing coffee, in the dark, by my computer. Not fun.) Thanks for the beautiful article, Sarah!
Annalicia, this sounds like
a much more gentle beginning
to your day! Love it.
xo
Nisha
Leisurely mornings are just the best, and you’re right, the perfect way to get your creative juices going. I try to be awake for 2 hours before I interact with technology.
I really enjoy this blog post. In our desperate attempts to prepare for fun, we actually reinforce destructive habits that block us from fun. I am currently in a process of discovering internal blocks to fun. I could be in the middle of doing something that looks pretty exhilarating, but inside my heart is somewhere else. So, for fun, I have been learning about myself. Sometimes this involves just going through the motions so I do not get stuck somewhere, and sometimes I am really having a great time. I have been listening to myself instead of just talking to myself, and this is sooo refreshing.
Thank you for sharing some of your process. 🙂
Love this, Sarah. Thank you for sharing.
One beautiful way to learn about yourself
is to learn what you JUST LOVE doing 🙂
Play!
xo
Nisha
Sarah, I love that you are evolving in this area. Remember to just ‘act as if’ you love having fun, make a practice of it daily and eventually the blocks will fall away on their own.
As a business owner and entrepreneur, it’s often easy to forget why I started this in the first place… to cultivate a life filled with more fun and freedom. I often pass up on fun activities in order to put in more hours at work… so that (you guessed it) I can have fun… LATER! It’s a total shame and something I’m working on. The only time is NOW. And it’s time to have more fun. Thanks for sharing and inspiring me to reignite this purpose, Sarah & Nisha. Bright Love!
Erin, I have SO been there!
Yes, the only time is now,
and when we wait, life lacks
the stuff that makes life
worth living.
So glad you’re embracing
your fun & freedom!
Love,
Nisha
Yes yes YES! This is so key. When I started to prioritize fun and my personal life over my business, my business really took off. It’s a scary shift to make, but so worth it.
Fabulous post! More women need to get out there and live, not fear! XO