At age 3, I begged for a blue toy Corvette.
I grew up with a feminist mom, who taught me that girls can do anything boys can, and that traditional gender roles were a choice. She challenged my ideas about “girls toys”, and my negative narratives about boys.
I learned that being a feminist simply meant that we were equal. Period.
Growing up, I heard plenty of stories of wage inequality and women being sexually harassed, and was well aware of the powerful grip of beauty ideals. I knew that we weren’t there yet, and as far as I was concerned – and I still believe it – healing the subjugation of women was one of the most important things we could do. I was angry at the world for getting us here.
Throughout my early 20’s, as I embarked on a spiritual deep-dive, I started noticing the words “feminine” and “goddess” pop up, and I bristled each time I saw them. I couldn’t reconcile the fact that I kept hearing them from spiritual teachers who I trusted, with the fact that to me, these words represented the exact subjugation I was against: The expectation of women being pure and perfect and pretty. Why were people who seemed otherwise grounded and intelligent perpetuating these narrow “ideals”?
Over the years, I’ve come to understand that the very fact that I hated those words was representative of how deeply fractured our relationship with The Feminine had become.
To me, “feminine”, “goddess” or “priestess” meant pretty, perfect, pink, frilly, girly, fluffy, well-behaved and nice. I wanted nothing to do with supporting that narrow ideal for women. But the answer to the question – why did I believe that? – perfectly demonstrates how broken our relationship with women had become.
I came to realize that these words have rich histories, connected with true stories of powerful women throughout history – women who were wise, sovereign, kind, fierce, empowered leaders – and that those stories had been skewed and often repressed. Through studying these women and listening more deeply to their stories, I learned that their gift was in teaching us to feel it all, have a full range of self-expression, and be open-hearted as we envision and create a future that we believe in. I learned that the words “feminine”, “goddess” and “priestess” could be synonymous with powerful, open-hearted leadership – the type of leadership that is cooperative, holistic, inclusive and compassionate.
I wanted to know more, but I wanted to be sure to learn from someone who had deep roots in her journey, so I began working with Elayne Kalila Doughty – a spiritual leader who has been walking this path of embodied leadership for over 20 years, supporting individual women in deepening their leadership, and trailblazing powerful activist efforts in the Congo with Eve Ensler of The Vagina Monologues. I knew that if I wanted to learn to be a more powerful and grounded leader, connected to a deeper and more vast sense of purpose, she was my teacher.
Over the years, she has taught me how to become a women who can maintain an open heart AND be a stand for women’s freedom – how to harness the anger of my early 20’s, without burning out or losing myself in the process. She has taught me how to embrace the fullness of who I am, including my fiery passion, and to be a more embodied leader in service of the future I see.
From where I stand now, I can see that if we want to truly step into our leadership, it is time for us to embrace the Divine Feminine, and reclaim our ancient knowing of who we really are.
I’ve been sharing a lot with you lately, but I would be remiss if I did not share Elayne Kalila’s powerful work with you. It has made such a massive impact in my own life, and if you choose to explore it, I am sure that it will impact you deeply as well. Moreover, it will impact the lives of the people in your world, and the world at large.
It’s time to embrace our power, sisters.
Elayne Kalila has created a beautiful program called Priestess Presence – Online Mysterium, a deep immersion into what it means to walk as a Priestess in the world today. This is a unique chance to immerse yourself in the teachings and devotional practices of an ancient mystery school, while being supported to live this path in our often challenging world.
If you want to dig a little deeper into my very personal story with this work, she interviewed me recently in a conversation titled “Surrendering to Emptiness: A Pathway to Intimacy and Ecstasy.” You can watch it here:
I have so much more to share about this in future blog posts, because exploring my spiritual side has helped me align with my mission and message more than anything else. For now, I’m curious to explore YOUR relationship with the feminine, and how you want to deepen your relationship with yourself. Leave a comment below, and let’s discuss.
Beautiful words <3
Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for being here Joanne <3
I was totally unfamiliar growing up that Goddess could mean anything other than a beautiful greek woman out of mythology (usually wearing a toga and some gold)
Now I know that the Goddess is the feminine aspect to the divine. That there’s not just God, there’s Goddess too, and together, they both lead to Source.
The most exciting aspect of embracing our femininity I feel, is to help heal the masculine. The more we can unapologetically own that we are feminine creatures (whatever that means to you) – the more we can hold space and ground down for the masculine to heal as well – thereby balancing the world and helping us as a global collective to heal in all ways.
Also… Nisha you have shown me this. I LOVE to unapolegtically dress up and get in my Goddess. I always felt shame for doing that. That it was somehow wrong, showy, or superficial.
But now I just know I adore beauty in all forms. And true beauty is the ability to make others feel beautiful. It is not the ownership of beauty, but rather, the celebration of it, that will make the Goddess come to life.
Ooooh so much to say about this. So many Goddesses reading this. So much love for the Goddess and all her beautiful creatures.
Oh Beth, I so love your share and could not agree more…this is magic!!
“true beauty is the ability to make others feel beautiful. It is not the ownership of beauty, but rather, the celebration of it, that will make the Goddess come to life.”
Thank you so much for speaking through your amazing Goddess heart xo
Nisha, this arrived in my inbox right on time. I had participated to various degrees in priestess training while in my undergraduate program at UC Santa Cruz and then much later after graduate school when I moved to Ashland, Oregon. I am afraid I took the sisterhood in those communities for granted while I was there.
Now I live in Alaska, having come here for the majestic mountains, the raw nature, and the play with my soulmate…however is it soooooo masculine here. I am craving a connection to the divine feminine and sacred sisterhood again. I appreciated it while I had it, for sure…yet I don’t think I fully grasped the importance of it in my life since it had been a relative constant growing up in the Bay Area.
Guess I’ll have to roll up my priestess sleeves and get it going here if that’s what I want, so I am going to explore Elayne’s offerings. I figured there’s a reason I opened this email today;) Thank you for having impeccable timing!
Beautiful, Ana. If you desire to join Elayne’s course and the doors are closed, shoot me a quick email at [email protected] and I may be able to get you in 🙂
Yes yes yes to the sisterhood of the divine feminine. xo
Nisha thanks. The program looks great. I’m curious if you’re an affiliate?
Nisha I am currently living in India and in December I am going to a village in Japur to volunteer for empowering women and reading this was really inspirational for me and it showed me what it means to make someone feel so beautifully special that it empowers their true inner and spiritual self!!! I can’t wait to volunteer and touch these women lives 🙂 thank you for this post
xoxo
Dear Nisha,
I don’t usually comment on blog posts, as I typically struggle with finding my voice. But this post really echoed in my heart and I wanted to express my gratefulness for the words shared here. I too struggled with the anger, but from another angle…I was too emotional, too girly, too kind and sincere and soft…I spent so much of my younger adult years trying to suppress my femininity because I was seen as weak by my family and friends. But I find that there is more strength there in just being women than we can give credit for and there are women rising up to show that it is so.
So thanks!
In sisterhood,
Tara xx
So much nourishment in listening to this…thank you!