When I first realized that I wanted to start my business, it wasn’t really about me. At the time, I was somewhat of a social activist, and couldn’t decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. I knew, though, that it had to help people.
One day, I was sitting at the desk in my bedroom, making a pair of earrings, and the song I was listening to sent a jolt of awareness through me: Health is the ultimate grassroots movement.
With this awareness at my core, I put myself through nutrition school and set out to become an entrepreneur. As the weeks and months and years moved forward, I maintained this passion for health and wellbeing, but also turned my focus to the business of building a business.
I spent my waking hours studying marketing and copywriting, figuring out the steps to take to grow my business, and rolling up my sleeves to put in the work. I was also working two jobs, cooking most of the meals in my house, and suffering through my increasingly-failing marriage. It was an intense time, and it felt like I was just doing what I had to do.
But something inside of me knew that there was a deep misalignment.
All my great marketing training taught me how to present myself as having what people wanted: I showed myself to be the picture of health and happiness, sharing stories and pictures showcasing how “together” my life was. In a sense, I was healthier than most, but in a deeper sense, I knew there was so much more for me. The truth was: I was working about 16 hours a day, my marriage was completely unraveling and I was so confused about it that I vacillated between feeling numb and despairing, and at times I felt like a slave to my business.
I felt a deep shame at the fact that I was presenting myself one way, yet didn’t truly feel that way inside or in my life.
I realized that I had to shift my focus from trying to change the world and have the perfect marketing, to also doing the inner and outer work to change myself. As a mentor of mine says, I had to align the tongue in my shoes with the tongue in my mouth.
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” ― Rumi
I didn’t build a business to look good, I built a business to do good. I care about people and wanted to make a difference, while having an unconventional lifestyle of travel, adventure and spaciousness. At this crossroads, it was clear that I had some inner and outer work to do to get into alignment.
When I stepped into alignment, my life started brightening and my business finally had an authentic and aligned leader at the helm. Everything opened up and began to soar.
–> In the comments below, let me know how you’re seizing your chance to be the change you want to see in the world. I can’t wait to walk alongside you on this journey.
THank you For the share nisha!
As i Sit here…. Early Early too realy got me morning getting ready for my day work which i love but is not my true calling, i know that i cant keep up the 2 jobs and have any soace for my art and poEtry and inner attention without continuously and attentively taking care of my body so that the rest can fall into PLace.
There are a few simple but Difficult things that i am implementing in my life to create SPACIOUSNESS and rest.
1. I havr better boundaries with my lOng distance partner so that i get to bed early (even if its only 8pm) (less phone or facetime hours and more sleep)
2. I eat better
3. I travel and run around leSs (drop off laundry, order groceries, someone cleans my APARTMENT once a month etc).
4. Every morning i conaciously engage with my intention to stay connected to my body and breath through out the day so that i dont let adrenaliNe run the show.
5. I am more authentic in my comversations (this is new for at my corporate job)… Where i am able to have real conversations about what i can and cant do and also problem solve around the “too much on my plate”. My realtionships with management is blossoming.
6. The biggest change towards my goal though is this awareness and process of noticing my guilt or any non-joy feelings that arise in relationship to my list o things to do… My pushing Through… When i start feeling the physical TIGHTENING
Which left unoticed leds to anxiety and disconnection, i reconnect with my true desire: to be healthy, reste, grounded and connected which creates soaciousness and joy. By doing so my intentions re-align and the obsessivE and guilt-filled stagnant Energy shifts and so does my relationship with my list of things to do. Things fall off that list (without guilt) and energy returns for some of the items on the list. At the too of my list is ine important task that never gets erAsed: do nothing!
🙂
I am getting better wveryday at self-love and most of all self-forgiveness. I let go bit by bit at this ideal Of consistantly atrive for perfection and humbly embrace my beautiful-fragile and perfect self who needs Gentlenes, tenderness and much rest!
Thank you for being such a bekOn of light nisha! In honouring yourself you remind us all to do the same!
LOve
GenevIeve
Genevieve, thank you for this beautiful share. I appreciate you and thank you for reading!
Thank you for sharing that Nisha!
Myself and a friend are called to help women who have been abused, neglected, rejected and been through a trauma caused by their parents and who have developed depression, anxiety and low self worth as a result.
This is something we have personal experience in and we have been able to heal from trauma and abuse.
We are calling this endeavour MINDFUL HEROINE. Will be launching a website and podcast this fall, and a retreat is planned for the summer 2017 in Canada.
I’ve begun nutrition School and I have embarked on a journey of self-discovery self-love and how to nurture myself while nourishing myself. I want to make a difference in the life individuals and children and Families. It’s so true that the work we have to do to heal will in turn help others. I can’t wait to get into the business of people and most of all to use my creativity and my imagination if it wasn’t for the lovely Health Coach reading this post whom i met over 6 years ago…. I would not be on my Integrative Health Journey right now I am forever grateful for people like us and for the freedom to live our lifes purpose